To my dismay, I have moved to a relatively conservative and racially nuanced country. Meaning that, just as in America, having a voice against and calling out racism is met with defensiveness.

I had a family “servant,” her words, not mine, make a joke TWICE about my son being a black American and my son may shoot his friend. Of course, I told the mother this was offensive since most mass shootings in America are done by ⚪ folk. She went on to explain oh, it was a joke…family…blah blah. I said well, I’d appreciate it if he’d refrain from this!

Mind you; his “friend” could not have told him since the conversation was in French. So instead, his friend chose to highlight it at the end of the day.

Honestly, I think he’s using my son as a standby friend, which seems to be passive-aggressive behavior or maybe a lack of awareness of manners.

Well, I am going to teach you manners, and IF you get offended, don’t invite my son to your house. I’ve pointed out that his friend is pretty inconsistent, and a real friend SHOULD display consistency.

I warned my son that his mother might not appreciate being called out by a black person due to the country’s hierarchy. So my Americaness is my only pass.

What do you think?

Teaching your children self-esteem sometimes teaches them to choose themselves over the need to fit in. But unfortunately, my sad realization is most other parents are not teaching this.