I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected lately. I realized I was missing a past life of unburdened freedom. I have lived a pretty adventurous life that many thought I was not deserving of because of my gender and race.
I never planned on being a single mom, but like many women living in this Patriarchal System, I was manipulated into motherhood. I married, I did the wife thing, and then because I remembered WHO I AM, I started to hold my BOUNDARIES but was swiftly abandoned. It was a blessing in disguise because the man who left me did so way before the actual heinous and everyday actions that women deal with were involved! Of course, I was blamed for not being the same woman he married.
I realized from my psychology studies that Covert Narcs are never genuinely present once they get what they want, which in my case, was a child to pass on his so-called legacy. So like most women in my situation, I ignored my needs and threw myself into the daily activities of motherhood to distract myself, and I love my beautiful son.
After this discard, though, I must deal with my son’s own feelings of abandonment that manifest as anxiety because of his father’s inability to self-reflect and apologize to his son to make him feel better. Like every facet of Patriarchy, this accountability is seen as a weakness, and the war has to be won regardless of the life lost. Sadly, the battle is always between an image that must be upheld vs. the reality that it is senseless to feel that way from the beginning.
Now all of this comes with a silver lining. I threw myself into the study of psychology AGAIN and became a CBT Coach, EQ Instructor, and Thought Speaker. I was very close to that coveted piece of paper, but I cut it short. Why? Because the US education system is a SCAM! I didn’t want to accumulate the astronomical debt most educated black women have, so I studied for the love of learning and understanding. I was also keenly aware most of what we thought was true was an outright distortion and lie in many of those textbooks. I’m shocked that the Biden administration will forgive some of the student debt brought on by the predatorial lending practices of essentially loan sharks.
So this disconnect I have been feeling. I have been spending a lot of energy helping others, just as I did with my son and his father, but I think it is more profound than this. Humanity is in its extinction period. Yeah, I said it! Sorry, it’s probably not what you want to hear in my usually more positive posts, but it is time for a REALITY CHECK! We are on our way out because the “humans,” I use this term loosely, running this shit show only see us as a means to an end. An end they, the Besos and Musks of the world, have been planning for years to escape from on their spaceships, as we toil on our raped planet, that just as we women have been screaming at them to stop doing. She, too, is responding with catastrophic tears called cyclones and bitter withdrawals called droughts. So WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why are men so disconnected? Because they have been taught by a few mentally deranged, inbred colonialists to see everything and one as an object of production. The planet and her children scream, STOP! So why won’t these “humans,” AGAIN, I use this term loosely, STOP? My answer is simple they don’t know how to. They have ingrained DOING into us for their billions! We have been slaving away for so long that we have been manipulated into fearing that if we take a rest past their “ordained” Sundays, we may be seen as weak or useless. IT IS A LIE!
After you finish reading this, please go outside to sit with Mother Gaia (Earth) and reconnect with yourself! Put on some frequency music with headphones and drift into nothingness. I chose this one because it reminded me of my children’s book Galaxy’s Whale, where the main character travels dimensions in the mouth of a whale named Star with her unicorn guide, Galaxy to reconnect with her true self! You should get a copy for your child or the inner child feeling alone and lost. It is truly a magical story.
If you feel the disconnect, and a sense of hopelessness, know you are not alone. We are feeling a shift of massive levels! One the Patriarchal System has been hiding from you with distracting narcissism. The manipulation stops when you reconnect with yourself again, and the Grand Awakening begins. If you need help, please book an appointment with me. I have several options for many needs. If you appreciate this post and want to support my voice, please support me with a donation and share this post with someone who could use a reminder to reconnect.
Trina is a multi-passionate Certified CBT and Emotional Intelligence Coach. She has traveled around the world teaching and speaking about the importance of integrating EQ/EI in every facet of life to build a more sustainable and healthy reality that fosters DIVERSITY, EQUITY, AND INCLUSION. Please support her mission by utilizing her services, and products and listening to her podcast EQaboveIQ.